Posts Tagged ‘sloth’

Remember last week’s story about Sheyla Hershey, the 28-year-old woman who is addicted to enlarging her breasts? This story tops Shelya’s… at least as far as being top-heavy goes.

48-year-old Hang Mioku first went under the knife when she was an (mildly) attractive 28-year-old, and from the first cut she was addicted.

After several operations, her face was large and disfigured yet she still believed she was beautiful–but not beautiful enough.

She went back for more and more operations until doctors told her they wouldn’t operate on her any longer. So she did what any respectable, surgery loving, Jabba the Hutt looking woman should do–move to Japan for more surgery.

What Mioku didn’t count on is that jobs are tough to get and life is tough to live when you look like the half-dead son of parents Michael Jackson and Sloth from The Goonies–and remember, she’s a woman.

However, after numerous surgeries, money ran out and she feared she must resort back to normal life not looking like a carrot souffle.

Amazingly, she found a doctor that supplied her with silicon and needles so that she could inject her own face at a fraction of the cost.

But when even self medication became too costly, she looked sadly at the floor, reached for the bottle of Canola Oil that moments before had been used to bake banana nut muffins, filled a syringe, and injected oil into her deformed face.

Kids in the neighborhood began calling her “standing fan” due to her massive head atop her petite body.

Though Hang Mioku has lead a horrific life, at least she doesn’t have to run to the store to pick up a bottle of oil if she runs out while baking–she can simply puncture her face just below the lower fold of her eyelid and a streaming jet of oil will glaze her pan–and to Mioku, there’s nothing more satisfying than that.