Posts Tagged ‘steroids’

For today’s Major League Baseball player, steroids offer more than just the muscle strength and mass that most casual MLB followers notice bulging through the jerseys of Jason Giambi and Mark McGwire.

Pitchers use steroids to lubricate their tendons, allowing them to pitch more frequently and throw harder on fewer days rest. Catchers may do the same to save their knees – just ask Paul Lo Duca or Ivan Rodriguez.

But this list of 10 MLB Roid Monkeys is not intended to shed light on the guys who slip under the radar because their biceps aren’t as big as honeydew melon – instead, this list is meant to show just how big some power-hitters can unnaturally become.

For a complete list of MLB players implicated, admitted, and suspended check out the steroid era.

Click Here For The Bonus Celebrity D-Bag Roid-Monkey!

The guys over at Co-Ed Magazine Put together an MLB All-Roid-All-Star Team comprised of your every childhood idol turned roid-monkey. While the list is thorough (despite lacking Eric Gagne as closer) we would have liked to see Mark McGuire at 1B instead of Raffe Palms.

Additionally, we would have opened up a spot on the roster for Trenidad Hubbard and called his position something like — The clean out the god damn clubhouse for roiding and only hitting 16 home-runs over 10-seasons guy.

To see the complete lineup, head over to Co-Ed Magazine.

And don’t look A-Roid in the eyes — he’s got herpes.

Despite having grown up in the late 80’s I never managed to jump onto the professional wrestling train. I vividly recall playing with the plush wrestling buddy dolls and beating the crap out of them but somehow never sat down to watch a match. Of the “old school” wrestlers, Hulk Hogan is about the only name that I can honestly remember. Having said that, I now know that this is probably a good thing.

I can now add a new name to my list of professional wrestlers, the Ultimate Warrior. At 6ft 2in and 275lbs the Ultimate Warrior is completely devoid of anything that would resemble an intelligent human being. Yes I know that wrestling is mainly an act, but holy crap! What the f**k is this douchebag saying? Other wrestlers even rolled their eyes at this twat. Sorry but any man who legally changes his name to “Warrior” has some sort of personality disorder.

After seeing this video I became quite intrigued with the Ultimate Warrior and stumbled upon a rather interesting special. If you are like me and find retarded people extremely interesting, youtube “the self-destruction of the Ultimate Warrior.” Now without further adieu, here is a compilation of pre-match rants from the Ultimate Warrior.

When we found out that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids in 2003 we sent our field news team out to New York to cover the story.

By the time our team arrived, everyone had already heard the news and we were stuck without a story.

But while perusing through the Yankees’ new stadium, we stumbled upon a small, unattended hole in the west wall and decided to take a peek to see what we could find.

The hole took us into the new Yankee clubhouse, and sitting right in front of us was the locker of Alex Rodriguez (custodial staff must have moved his belongings from an oak locker to a more conventional, high school gym class style metal locker following the steroid scandal).

We snapped one photo and left–this is it.

Make sure to click on the image to enlarge it for better viewing.