Posts Tagged ‘Top 10’

It’s extremely difficult for anyone to look cool while riding a bicycle, the helmets, shorts, and sunglasses do not allow fr it. Consequently, the fact that the following 10 people are bicyclists gives them a head-start on the fail-o-meter.

Throw in a huge puddle, a manhole, and the occasional light-post and we’ve got what we’re affectionately calling the Top 10 Photos of Bicycle Fail (And 1 of Bicycle Win!).

We’ll begin with Number 10…

10. Needs a facemask

9. Not even close

8. Eeeerm

7. Pixelated, but worth a nod

6. Unhappy ending

5. Brush by

4. Showoff

3. Manhole Manwet

2. Treadmarks

1. Smile!… WTF?

And Finally, Epic Bike For The Win!

For whatever reason, our readers seem to enjoy articles and lists about excessive drinking and (anti)socialite behavior, so we tend to allocate most of our day to said niche (if not textually, in reality).

We’ve done The Drunker You Are, The Harder You Fall and we’ve done the Top 10 Signs You Drank Too Much and have had success doing so.

We took what we learned, mixed in some public urination, threw in a little Hasselhoff, and dropped in a dash of Verne Troyer to come up with the (Not So Top) 10 More Signs You Drank Too Much.

In the words of Nic Cage, Here. We. Go.

10. You’re spooning a bench

9. You piss where you sleep where I wait for the bus

8. You’re trying to cheat on your wife with an ATM machine

7. You are the Hasselhoff

6. You just… The whole toilet

5. You’re this thing

4. You shouldn’t have been driving

3. The crosswalk is a crosscrawl

2. You were Santa

1. You are Verne Troyer and you’re on the run

When you’re thinking of a name for your hot new burger joint or your neighborhood ice-creamery, you should take a second to make sure your ideas are not derived from categories on the popular SNL skit Celebrity Jeopardy. These 10 store names (one company name) were never double-checked, consequently they make up Banned’s Top 10 Stupid Store Names.

Tits…

10. Spacing is key when it comes to exchanging kids and sex changes

9. Cream filled buns anyone?

8. Popular with the ladies…

7. Sounds painful and probably available on Craigslist

6. Arrive early as space is limited

5. In case your girl is all dried up?

4. Simple and to the point

3. I usually stay at the Alltheway Inn

2. Hard-Ons not available used

1. I prefer Gabonese, but Tanzanian isn’t bad with hot sauce

We could have easily compiled a top 10 list of stupid celebrity quotes that was not in comic book form but the format complements Britney Spears‘ and Tara Reid’s mind-blowing (and occasionally head-shaving) intellect.

Plus how else were we supposed to show that Brooke Shields and Kirstie Alley are the same person without thought bubbles?

They are the same person, right?

Here are the Top 10 Stupid Celebrity Quotes (In A Digital Comic Book of Two Pages).

(click here for a larger view of page one)

(click here for a larger view of page two)

I was stumbling through the Something Awful Forums when I came across a thread called Illustrated Sexual Euphemisms and, like so many times before, knew I needed to suck the thread and give it some attention.

I pulled ten or fifteen of my favorite submissions, did a little photoshopping, and added a few myself in order to compile what I believe are the Top 20 Safe For Work Illustrated Sexual Euphemisms.

Thanks goes out to the Goons for inspiration (as well as for a few quality photoshop jobs, especially to nickhimself for sexual euphemism #3).

In case any of the following 20 illustrated sexual euphemisms leave you stumped, an answer key is provided at the bottom of the page.

20.

19.

18.

17.

16.

15.

14.

13.

12.

11.

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

Official Answer Key:

20. Beat Your Meat
19. Three Hole Punch
18. Hairy Beaver
17. Donkey Punch
16. Golden Shower
15. Choking Your Chicken
14. Furburger
13. Horizontal Mambo
12. Hung Like A Horse
11. Cleveland Steamer
10. No Pants Dance
9. Bust A Nut
8. Laying Pipe
7. Hot Beef Injection
6. Sucking Dick
5. Cleaning Your Rifle
4. Dirty Sanchez
3. Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger
2. Does The Carpet Match The Drapes?
- Yes, I Believe It Does…
1. The Rusty Trombone

For those of you who are new to Banned In Hollywood, we’ve been posting articles — top 10 lists rather — like this for quite some time. If you’re able to laugh at least one of these photos you’ll probably like the rest of the site. If you become annoyed, irritated, or down-right pissed off because this list’s humor is founded on, at the very best, basic fat guy humor, we advise you to leave now (though you’re probably only pissed because you look like one of the people in the following photos).

For the first installment of the diet series, please head here.

For the second installment, head here (we advise checking both).

10. You are the Blueberry from Willy Wonka

9. You just busted my wall down… you bastard

8. It looks like you’re wearing an inflatable sumo Halloween costume but you’re not

7. You turned a shirt into a sports-bra

6. You don’t pop your collar, your collar pops you…

…(what does that even mean?)

5. Wat?

4. Your right foot looks like a big inflated pink condom

3. You can’t say ‘diet’, but you need to go on one

2. You make Princess Leia look li… Wait a sec…

1.5. Oh, there we go…

1. For the first time ever, the ‘Official XXL’ on your shirt is smaller than your shirt’s actual size

One of my favorite youtube search queries is drunk fall. And because I’m sure you’ve been there but probably weren’t lucky enough to have a friend (or complete stranger) film you, I found it necessary to compile a top 10 list acclaiming those drunks who were lucky enough not just to be filmed, but to end up on youtube tagged under my favorite youtube search query: drunk fall.

Thank you youtube.

10. Can’t sober up by running

9. The dirty cop

8. Hole in one, then out the door

7. Too drunk to ride/stand

6. Mr. Wobbles

5. The hidden hitchhiker

4. Alright guys, see you tomorr…

3. 2 dudes, 1 stump

2. Don’t mind me, just go around

1. Dude Vs. Puddle