While it probably would have been easier to just compile an exhaustive list of times Brett Favre cried in a press conference, we decided it would be more fun to diversify this list of 7 excellent football fail gifs… and then try to relate as many of them as we possibly could to the joke that has become Brett Favre.

Though sadly, the only way Brett Favre could be any worse is if he were Phillip Rivers’ bodysuit girdle flak-vest jacket-pack sack-attack pussy pads.

7. Later!

The immediate and lasting effects of drafting Matt Leinart.

6. The Handicapped Dickface

Handicapped people want to be treated like everyone else, right? And who doesn’t love that classic NCAA below-the-belt-to-the-mouth taste?

5. Also Known As The ‘Brett Favre’

Because he has no balls… although Jenn Sterger might disagree with that.

4. The Goal-Line Hand Stand

You can actually smell the draft rounds going by.

3. The Infamous Brett Favre Cockshot

Nevermind, maybe he does have balls.

2. WTF You Almost Hit Me

This pretty much sums up every 49ers season since Joe Montana or Steve Young — the only team worse at football is the Pittsburgh Pirates.

1. The Single Greatest Sports Moment

As if an uncoordinated quarterback rushing for a touchdown isn’t rare enough (our thoughts and prayers go out to you Jimmy Clausen), this guy manages to spike the ball into his nuts, get fouled up by a defender, and table-top the middle linebacker… all while the clock is stopped.

Still no Nike deal?

Impressive.

Come on people, given the economic climate, and for that matter, the seven dollar pricetag on bottles of beer, respect your drink and do not, I repeat, do not waste.

There are starving people in Africa, so get drunk and forget about them.

And chances are if you work with an elephant, and I’m not talking about Kirstie Alley, your job might be on this list.

And begin.

10. Gator Whisperer

9. The Human Diabeetus

8. Shit Catcher

7. Human Engine

6. Board Walker

5. Marksman Intern

4. Sarah Jessica Parker

3. Lost My Keys In Here… Somewhere

2. Solar Guy

1. Senator Rick Santorum

I was stumbling through the Something Awful Forums when I came across a thread called Illustrated Sexual Euphemisms and, like so many times before, knew I needed to suck the thread and give it some attention.

I pulled ten or fifteen of my favorite submissions, did a little photoshopping, and added a few myself in order to compile what I believe are the Top 20 Safe For Work Illustrated Sexual Euphemisms.

Thanks goes out to the Goons for inspiration (as well as for a few quality photoshop jobs, especially to nickhimself for sexual euphemism #3).

In case any of the following 20 illustrated sexual euphemisms leave you stumped, an answer key is provided at the bottom of the page.

20.

19.

18.

17.

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14.

13.

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9.

8.

7.

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5.

4.

3.

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1.

Official Answer Key:

20. Beat Your Meat
19. Three Hole Punch
18. Hairy Beaver
17. Donkey Punch
16. Golden Shower
15. Choking Your Chicken
14. Furburger
13. Horizontal Mambo
12. Hung Like A Horse
11. Cleveland Steamer
10. No Pants Dance
9. Bust A Nut
8. Laying Pipe
7. Hot Beef Injection
6. Sucking Dick
5. Cleaning Your Rifle
4. Dirty Sanchez
3. Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger
2. Does The Carpet Match The Drapes?
- Yes, I Believe It Does…
1. The Rusty Trombone

Unless you are my mother, it seems that greeting cards are a thing of the past. As goes for newspapers and magazines, people have turned to the internet to send messages in seconds rather than in days — and with websites like someecards.com why not?

However, If places like Hallmark would adapt their business model to the wants of the younger generation, they just might see fewer store closures.

The following 10 moments in Greeting Card failure should serve as inspiration.

Given the name of the website, we should probably try to include a few celebrity posts every once in a while that aren’t just a bunch of pictures of attractive women.

So in honor of Celebrities being strange (no, not you Keanu), we present our bi-annual celebrity post — 10 Awesomely Strange Celebrity Photos.

Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney Doing Dishes

Will Ferrell Looks Like Chili Peppers’ Drummer Chad Smith

The Tysonbomb

Victoria’s Secret Model Candice Swanepoel Is Getting Fat

Oh Hai Hawking

Bruthe

Why’s Your Cell PhoOh…

The Perfect Accessory For Any Red Carpet Affair

Jonesin’ For Some Zeta-Jones

Lil’ Tom

We all know Heywood Jablome, we’ve spent time with Rusty Kuntz, and we’ve all seen a special report with Mike Litoris, so in an effort to do what has already been done but in slightly updated fashion, I bring you 25 horribly amazing names.

If you’ve heard of the internets, you’ll surely recognize many of these, but if I can expose you to a few name fails you’re yet to stumble upon, then I’ve done my job.

And. Here. We. Go.

If it weren’t for the invention of TiVo and the subsequent rise of what should now be commonplace in every home, the DVR box, we would have to do things like watch commercials, run to the restroom to take a leak, and most importantly we would miss 90-percent of the following 17 excellent TV screenshots.

God bless the DVR.

People take pride in their automobiles, which in some cases means they modify their vehicles to reflect their personality, which in some cases means they do everything in their power to make their cars look as retarded as possible.

Me? I love hamburgers, so naturally I modified my car to look like a giant double-double and every time I step on the gas six gallons of thousand island dressing comes out of my exhaust pipe — it gets expensive and my friends don’t really get it but I’m really passionate.

Why operator error? I really couldn’t tell you. It’s simply the first thing that came to mind. Although I do think it is fitting because if your printer is telling you its mayonnaise is low, you’re either doing it wrong or your printer is Kirstie Alley — always printing outside the margins.

Despite coming up with a better name, here are 7 great moments in operator error.