Posts Tagged ‘UFC’

“In my head, I’m like, I train and work out like everyone else. They like to tell you what you’re not. They like to keep you down, so they can get more out of you for their money. But fans don’t lie. When they’re all chanting your name, you know they’re supporting you.” – Gina Carano

Professional MMA fighter Gina Carano tried the whole American Gladiators thing but realized kicking ass inside the octagon was her true passion. At 5′8″ and toting a 38 bust, Gina Carano will kick your ass in the ring and then go home and kick some other lucky dude’s ass in the bedroom.

Here’s to Gina.

As far as I’m concerned, UFC has pretty much made traditional boxing obsolete. Why should I watch two fighters square off behind puffy gloves when I can watch two barely padded UFC fighters repeatedly knee and kick each other in the head? Boxing needs to come up with a new gimmick, and I think Tyson Fury found it by punching himself in the face (video below).

I would love to see two boxers standing on either ends of the ring, each one trying their damnedest to knock his own self out through repeated, self-inflicted blows to the face before the other guy succeeds at knocking himself out first, but I think there’s a better way of taking this idea of unadulterated self-defacement, and applying it to the opposition.

Imagine a shootout in soccer where each team sends a player to the line for a free shot without any defenders. Then imagine that scenario in the ring, where the soccer defenders are the other boxer’s fists, and the free shot at the goal, an undefended punch to the other guy’s face.

It’s sudden death, boxing style… And sure, standing still while another guy punches you in the face as hard as he physically can defies common conceptions of who the athletic boxer is, but who gives a shit? The only reason anyone watches boxing is to watch either party get knocked out; preferably as painfully as possible.

Even if a boxing fan has $200 riding on Boxer A KO’ing Boxer B, and Boxer B hits Boxer A so hard that Boxer B’s mouthpiece flies out of his mouth, over the ropes, into the crowd, and lands in Tera Reid’s appletini 53 rows back (they won’t let her too close to the ring because she’s disgusting) while Boxer A crumbles face-first into the mat, they will be happy to lose the $200 because they got to see an intense KO (and Tera Reid spill her drink all over her disgusting self). It’s human nature, and it’s also why people go to the circus (but that’s a different article altogether).

UFC has taken the KO factor out of boxing and replaced it with the little sister’s slumber party pillow fight factor. If they want to keep their ratings up, they’re going to need to think about sudden death.

To most MMA fans, Rachelle Leah is known as the leggy octagon girl who carries a sign around the cage wearing nothing but a bikini. And to be fair, that’s all that some women strive to be and some men strive to be with.

But Leah, who will return to her position as MMA Eye Candy at UFC 90 on Oct. 25 at the Rosemont Horizon in Rosemont, Ill, claims to be a lot more than just another perfect body.

Sure, she’s Playboy’s November cover girl, which hits mailboxes on Friday. She was the UFC’s most popular octagon girl, and she just signed a deal as a spokesmodel with Anheuser-Busch, but just because she looks the part and plays the role, doesn’t mean shes as stupid as she is hot, at least according to Kevin Iole of Yahoo! Sports who writes:

“She is brash and thoughtful and introspective and witty and plenty crafty. She uses her share of coarse language, her conversation invariably turns to sports and, most significantly, guys, she loves – absolutely loves – mixed martial arts.”

“Spend a half-hour talking with the Las Vegas resident and it’s no different than talking to your buddies about MMA, except you realize you’re speaking with one of the world’s most beautiful women.”

In all reality, Rachelle Leah is someone I will likely never meet, so why would I care if she can carry a heated MMA discussion or not?

What I care about more is figuring out what time the mail gets delivered on Fridays…

“Thin and Intellectual Brook” as father Hulk Hogan affectionately called his daughter while oiling her petite body down at a Las Vegas swimming pool a few months back was spotted shoveling cheeseburgers with extra mayo down her large face at the Kimbo Slice/Other Guy fight during Saturday’s Elite XC disappointer.

Though the 37 patties that Thin and Intellectual Brook consumed during the 14 second match seems like a lot, the six-foot, five-inch 267-pound ball of thunder thinks differently.

When questioned by Elite XC correspondent Christopher Crosby about her feeding trends, Thin and Intellectual Brook responded in a pitch similar to Crosby’s:

“Thirty-seven patties is normal , I need to make weight, stupid.”

The “weight” she mentions, of course referring to her upcoming MMA Heavyweight bout with Tank Abbot, is set at 280 lbs.

If you have ever wanted to know how to throw a guy who comments about your milf of a wife onto another couple’s table in the middle of a crowded restaurant, or if you just need proper instruction and/or a new technique for kicking an unsuspecting barfly in the nuts, you need to watch Bas Rutten’s instructional video. He has the MMA record to defend his technique, and if you don’t listen to him, he will kick you in the nuts.

“Excuse me sir, you are telling me? This thing about my wife?”
“Bong, Bong, Bong. Don’t. You. Ever. Do Dis!”