Who ever said wrestling was gay clearly has no idea what they’re talking about. There’s plenty of smoking hot chicks like Ashley Valence, Stacy Keibler and the WWE Divas to distract you from all the oiled up dudes in spandex sucking on each other’s penises — and there’s nothing gay about that.

He reportedly lost control of his vehicle, crossed a median and smashed his 2009 Jeep Wrangler head on into a tree. TMZ reports that they “spoke with Randy’s brother, Lanny Poffo, who tells us the wrestling legend suffered a heart attack while he was behind the wheel around 9:25 AM … and lost control of his vehicle.”

Savage’s wife Lynn was riding in the vehicle but suffered only minor injuries.

Sadly, not even the Macho Man’s heart could withstand the effects of years and years of salty, dried, mystery-meat tubesteak endorsing.

Our hearts go out to you and your family, Macho.

Hat tip: TMZ

So I was fucking this guy in the ass one time and he turned around and winked at me, and I’m like, what, are you gay!?

For more great moments in wrestling, check out 14 Great Wrestling Fails.

‘Kemonito’ is a professional wrestler who wrestles out of Mexico City in the CMLL (Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre). He takes to the ring just as any other self-respecting wrestler would, only he does so dressed as a blue monkey (although he carries himself with a gorilla-ish gait) and he is a midget.

Because of his small size, ‘Kemonito’ is exceptionally puntable. And what do you get when you throw a human football into a Mexican Lucha Libre ring? You get one of the greatest moments in professional sporting history.

You can’t windmill around the ring and have your brother do the invisible string yo-yo trick to you while a pair of fatter but slightly more sober looking Charlie Sheens stumble around the ring wondering why the fuck they left their perfectly acceptable daytime jobs at Pep Boys.

It’s just bad business.

Props to the announcers though for feigning acting like this is totally normal.

What? They don’t do this on WWE?

For more wrestling fails click here.

I don’t know what the hell just happened but I’m pretty sure someone is pregnant after that. On a completely different note, I really don’t want to get old — I have a feeling this is what a colonoscopy is like.

Hat tip to Krinkov.

C’mon guy, everyone knows you’re not supposed to pet the animals.

It really does make all the difference…

And maybe a broken neck or two…

14. That’ll Leave A Mark

13. So, What Do We Do When Someone Is Actually Hurt?

12. Nom

11. The Black One’s So… Athletic…

10. Post-Piss Underwear Pee Circle To The Eye

9. How The Hell Did I Get In Here?

8. And I Thought Ball Slap Was Bad In A Swimming Pool…

7. WooooooooOoOoo

6. The Broken Arrow

5. Nutshot To The Air-Chin

4. Bruce! Gawd, Not Yet, Get Back Here, You Screwed It Up!

3. Gobbobblenobblenomomnom

2. Midgets x Buttered Floor

1. How Isn’t He Blee… Oh.

Or maybe Ric Flair simply has a knack for coming up with the most egotistical retardedly badass phrases we’ve ever heard. And even though I don’t have a lisp, I’m going to start using some/most of his lines to piss people off at the bar. No one wants to hear that their house is worth less than my shoes, but I’m going to tell it to them anyway — you should too. And if Tommy D-Bag gets angry with you, simply suplex his ass off of the trunk of your mile-long limo filled with 20 hot girls just waiting for you to go woo.