What is it about ice falling from a 1,600 foot tall TV camera tower that makes you want Sarah Palin’s “One Nation” tour bus to drive by so badly?

You’re from Alaska, here’s some ice for you, bitch.

Looks like Hot Pockets went ahead and pretended to have conducted a blind taste test wherein the subjects couldn’t tell the difference between hot and cold breakfasts (aren’t all Hot Pockets both hot and partially cold?).

Marketing genius.

Remember back in 2011 when you could just go and print anything you wanted to food packaging and people would believe it? Those were the days.

Due to the success of our ridiculously popular 30 Pictures of Goats Being Crazy gallery, we’ve decided to go after camels to show just how crazy our friends from the sand can be — no, not you Gaddafi.

There’s actually also a donkey in here, as well as a poodle, a bike and a snack, but who’s counting?

This is 20 Pictures of Camels Being Crazy.

“He’ll stop laughing when you tickle him,” followed by Baby Wee Wee getting a hard on and pissing on dad’s face.

Wait a sec… any guy will tell you and any girl who’s seen Me, Myself and Irene knows an erection is tough to piss through…

Dad, what are you doing to Baby Wee Wee!? (Peepee Teepee sold separately)

You know we’re in a recession when pelicans are eating pigeons — they’re essentially the rat of the sky. Just because it moves doesn’t mean you should eat it, which is something I’ve had a difficult time teaching Kirstie Alley as well.

International Business Times reports,

“Walter Eikrem from Rakkestdad was coming home from the school bus stop this week when he noticed a pack of wolves near his farm house, reports Germany’s Der Spiegel magazine. He mistook them for dogs but soon realized that it was pack of wolves, the boy remembered his mother’s oft-repeated drill to never run away from wolves.”

Instead the teen yanked his earphones from his smartphone, turned the volume to 11 and blasted everyone’s favorite Creed single at the wolf pack. “They didn’t really get scared. They just turned around and simply trotted away,” the boy says.

Walter admits to “flapping” and “flailing” his hands and arms in addition to screeching at the animals, so authorities are unsure which tactic scared the wolves away — the wolves unsure of which thing they were hearing was the music.

They grow ‘em big in Texas, which is great if you’re Klayton Kershaw and you’re making millions for hitting 98 on the gun — effectively limiting your opposition to the lowest on base percentage in the National League.

But if you’re Amy Sue and you’re trying to fit into a size 2 bikini, it really doesn’t pay to be in the 6’7″ 295 lb gene-pool.

A career in the 16-wheeler tug or a shot at Julius Peppers’ job might be her best option, and if she doesn’t make the practice squad, at least she’ll get some numbers. Call me racist, but I’ve been told black guys love big butts.

I thought I had found all the weird board games that were floating around the internet last week in our 6 strange board games list but somehow I missed this one.

Any game that involves a dog and a human and isn’t fetch is by default Alabama Twister — a backwoodsy fave. They do something similar in South Dakota called the Rocky Mountain Rodeo only it involves goats, doesn’t require a board and suggests using lube.

Dog not included is probably a good thing… choking hazard.

And you thought they were bad when they were doing trivial things like bombing the US and enriching uranium to nuke South Korea.

What next? Abortions?

The guy in the yellow t-shirt doesn’t look to happy about the whole thing, and for good reason. Apparently the guide translates a little something like:

Step 1. (Preparation) Find a black marker. Draw two favorite nipples on your friend’s ass. Your friend must have a nice smooth ass. Use a water based marker as it is non permanent and easy to clean after.

Step 2. (After) Pay attention to your friend’s anal opening’s position, to prevent from penetration which would cause discomfort. Put your thing in between the ass in a good, comfortable position. Proceed to rub back and forth gently, until ecstasy.

Step 3. (Finished) After you shoot, you can thank your good friend. If you happen to be unable to fully emulate the process of titty fucking, it could be a matter of the drawing of the nipples are not very detailed or your good friend’s ass is not beautiful enough. Or even more likely, you are actually a gay person.

Thanks Kerwen for the translation.