The sexy women of Battlestar Galactica

Normally you would never be reading anything related to Battlestar Galactica on Banned, but because we were tipped off by a fan and told that although sexy women have never slept with Battlestar Galactica fans, there are a few sexy mamas who act on the recently canceled show.

I can’t promise that any of the facts stated below are actually facts because I’d either have to watch an episode of the show, or do research on the show (beyond figuring out what the fuck a Baltar is… or isn’t?). And if I had to do either one of those two things, I wouldn’t bother putting this time-waster together.

‘Nuff said.

Actually, one more thing. This piece is titled, “The Sexy Women of Battlestar Galactica” for good reason. I included the word sexy to distinguish this list from the hundreds of thousands of lists floating parasitically around in the marshes and swamplands of the internet simply titled, “The Women of Battlestar Galactica.”

So don’t get off thinking that we’re going to be including the not-so-sexy women of Battlestar Galactica, or worse, the unsexy women of Battlestar Galactica.

Thus, don’t expect ambiguously named actor/actress Finn R. Devitt, who has no photo on his/her imdb profile and plays equally ambiguously named character, Nicky Tyrol. I’m guessing it’s a woman (Nicky?), though explicit Twainian references force me to imagine Finn wading through a river with a black man, and a very dirty Tom Sawyer…

I need to stop putting the content of this list off. Also, keep in mind that these women aren’t really even that sexy and should have been titled something like, “The Semi-Sexy Women of Battlestar Galactica and One Sexy Woman (who was sexy enough to appear in Playboy).”

Lucy Lawless

Though she’s known mostly as the lead in mysteriously successful TV series, Xena: Warrior Princess, the New Zealander recently made an appearance on HBO’s Flight of the Conchords. It’s sad, but this piece of trivia somehow helps me justify the fact that I’m spending way too much time writing an article about to Battlestar Gelactica.

Then I heard she was quoted as saying, “treat everyone the same until you find out they’re an idiot,” and I gained a ton of respect for her.

Smart woman.

Katee Sackhoff

Where you’ve seen her: Nip/Tuck, the Female Marine voice in Halo 3, and Robot Chicken.

Fun facts: Her last name, “Sackhoff,” rhymes with what just about every man reading this article is doing… “slack off.”

Tricia Helfer

Tricia Helfer appeared in the Febuary 2007 issue of Playboy, but for advertising credibility’s sake I’m not going to show you. I’m sure you can find the scans pretty easily via a website that I just learned about called Google.com. It searches through the internet and directs you where to go based on your search query. It’s pretty cool.

For the longest time I thought the internet was all about getting pictures of cute kittens and bunnies delivered to my inbox from my mom, but this Google thing looks pretty cool.

Speaking of cute kittens, her Official Website donates to a kitten rescue program in Los Angeles.

Grace Park

Usually referred to by Battlestar fans as the Asian one, Grace Park plays Lt. Sharon ‘Boomer’ Valerii (I’m not making this up this time, and if ‘Boomer’ dresses like she did in the provided photoshoot, I might stop watching ESPN).

Fun facts: Though she would eventually break into the acting world, the UCLA Alum earned two degrees in Mathematics and Computer Science while juggling a full time job working at Asian-American hang spot, Boba Loca.

Even though I said I wouldn’t do it, I felt like I should anyway. What if Finn R. Devitt is actually a woman, and what if she is sexier than Tricia Helfer? How could I feel justify titleing this article The Sexy Women of Battlestar Galactica if I unknowingly omitted the sexiest woman of them all?

Then again, what if by doing this I just included a dude named Finn in an article titled, The Sexy Women of Battlestar Galactica?

This is some life-changing stuff…